I was at a party the other weekend, sitting at a table with a few different guys. One of the guys was a CEO of a big company. He was the most arrogant asshole that I’ve ever met. That got me thinking (while I was watching him be a dick and think that his shit doesn’t stink), how could I humble this sob even though he’s more successful and has a higher status. What could I do to not come down a few pegs? I will share the secret and provide other ways to humble somebody with a huge ego.
A lot of times, the biggest problem with arrogant people is the feedback loop. Their brain is broken, and they don’t realize how they are perceived. They are busy worrying about trying to prove to themselves and others that they are what they think they are. Typical, humble humans are collateral damage, so one of the things that can help arrogant people is to humble them a bit. Implement some of these strategies, and do not let their ability to talk about themselves attract you from the fact that you’re genuinely the amazing one. Allow your actions to speak louder than your words.
Take away a pompous person’s superpower
- Ask a simple question other than about their job. Ask them what they’re really great at or what makes them unique. Taking away somebody’s superpower, such as arrogance, leaves them a bit lost. They don’t know what to say because they’re so used to being beautiful, successful, rich, and awesome.
- Tell them you’re bored. This is something that I did to the dude the other night. When I interrupted him and excused myself for being bored, 30 minutes later, he found me to have a conversation. He felt like he had failed, so he started to engage with me. These people think they’re entitled and super interesting. But when you say you’re bored and going to find somebody interesting, it brings them down a notch because they realize they’re not as interesting and awesome as they think.
- Call them out. You must have big balls to do this because of the fear of offending or hurting somebody’s feelings. But the truth is that someone with a huge ego doesn’t prescribe the same social norms and keys as most people. They are so worried about trying to prove themselves to others that they don’t pick up on little social cues. But if you express that somebody was really arrogant or you can’t believe they actually said XYZ out loud, it’s a wake-up call because they don’t realize they’re coming across as arrogant or egotistical. They’re just trying so hard to come across as awesome, so throwing it in their face forces them to take a step back and recalibrate. Most arrogant people have never been told that they’re arrogant.
Insert these subtle psychological tricks
When dealing with an arrogant woman you may be interested in, run the other way as fast as possible. But before you run, you can knock them down and humble them.
- I feel sorry for your boyfriend or future husband. She’ll wonder why you’re saying that, and you can respond about her seeming like she’s crazy high maintenance. You can also express that you’re looking for somebody a bit more low-key and easy to get along with.
- You’re not that special. Her brain pauses when you tell her this because she’s been told she’s amazing, awesome, and beautiful her whole life. She’s actually bought into and believed the hype.
- What do you bring to the table? She will not come up with anything of substance because when you meet somebody who has a super-huge ego or feels entitled, they really haven’t done anything other than be beautiful. A lot of times, they have a difficult time figuring out why you should or shouldn’t.
- I’m really more into natural beauty. When you say that to somebody who puts a lot of time and energy into their eyebrows, lip injection, makeup, shopping, and more, it will blow their mind because it infers they are fake beautiful, which means they’re not actually beautiful.
- Do you even work out? It’ll make her think that you think she’s fat, which is a bang to her ego and an instant humility.