Before we start, grab a piece of paper and number it from 1 to 10. Now, I want you to write down ten (10) reasons why you fell in love with the person you are with. Here are my reasons why I’m with my wife: (1) beautiful, (2) great cook, (3) sexy, (4) kind, (5) one of the hardest working people I’ve ever met, (6) nice boobs, (7) best friend, (8) trust her, (9) puts up with me, and (10) respects me.
I want you to go through this exercise to remind you why you fell in love with this person in the first place. This list is why they’re worth fighting. What I outline in today’s video will ensure that you stay in love because, after 20 years of being with my wife, I’ve learned a few valuable things.
Reasons why relationships fall apart
When you get comfortable in a relationship, you get complacent and lazy. The laziness trap is the single biggest relationship killer and is why so many relationships fall apart. Your relationship is affected when you get lazy, and she gets lazy. Relationships take work and consistent work. Both of you need to work on yourselves and ensure you look good physically. Taking care of yourself physically is the number one thing you can do to show the person you’re with that you respect yourself and them. You want to ensure that what they initially fell in love with and found sexually desirable is still desirable.
Getting older or not being as lean or shredded doesn’t matter. But you should still dress with style and intention, be groomed like a gentleman, and take good care of yourself. When you take pride in the ownership of your appearance, your self-esteem and pride are built. You won’t be a good partner if you don’t feel good about yourself.
Keep dating and courting each other. Do sweet things consistently for her and let her know that she’s thought of. These could include sending a cute text, buying flowers, or surprising her with something she loves. Doing special things will let her know that you’re thinking of her and make her feel like you appreciate her. If not, she may seek it through other means or lose interest in you. If someone feels valued and respected regularly, it’s amazingly intoxicating.
Help around the house because it’s not her job or responsibility to do your laundry or clean up after you. Small gestures of appreciation go a long way and do not go unnoticed. Doing it consistently and not just occasionally will facilitate a healthy and happy relationship.
Don’t stop talking to each other. One of the biggest mistakes many guys make is that they start to shut down as the relationship progresses. As you grow as a couple, you need to either grow together or else you will grow in different directions. When you first start dating, there’s a lot of communication and emotional intimacy. Don’t stop expressing what’s going on inside by not talking, as this will kill a relationship because relationships are built on communication. She should not have to pester or ask you about always opening up. Intimacy is essential to her, just as sex is important to you. Put in the time so that she feels safe around you and respected.
Don’t constantly look at or check out other women, as this is not respectful. Flirting with other people, whether a co-worker or a barista in Starbucks, is not a respectful way to act. Do not put yourself in compromising positions like going out to bars where there are many single women. Don’t get drunk and do something stupid or put yourself in a compromising position.
Keep in mind that the grass is not greener on the other side. I know you may be struggling with your relationship. Relationships go through different seasons, and it’s about enduring, choosing to stay in love, and putting in the hard work. I can tell you from experience that love is amazing and gets even better when you stay in love. If you’re willing to put in the time and do the work, your relationship grow and flourish. Relationships are complex and take a lot of work, but the good ones are worth it.