Accessories are amazing for expressing individual style, but sometimes you may not express what you intend. Any piercing from the neck down says you’re freaky and down for anything. Wearing a Gucci belt says you’re wildly insecure and desperate, begging for attention. A big gold Cuban link chain says that you could beat someone’s ass. And an Apple watch says you’re a huge dork.
Make sure you choose the right option to look amazing. Remember that you don’t have to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars to look good. A lot of the accessories that you wear to upgrade or elevate your style are affordable.
Here are a few things that your accessories say about you
- Piercings. If you have piercings in your nipples, belly button, or your genitals, it says that you’re a freak and probably a sexual deviant. A nose ring says you’re an f-boy and that you’ll steal someone’s girl because girls dig guys that are a bit edgier and bad boy. Earrings usually mean a guy is middle-aged and trying to hold on to his youth unless they’re thick gauges, which indicates he doesn’t give a f^ck what you think. If you’re a black dude with huge diamonds, it means you’re a baller, but little hoops or studs mean you grew up in the 90s but a bit counterculture.
- Belts. You look low-class and lazy if you’re not wearing a belt and your pants are sagging. Don’t let your underwear show. You need to pull your pants up and wear a belt. If you wear a Gucci belt, you look thirsty for attention, but it also lets people know you have money. The H belt is a little bit more subdued but is a bit douchey.
- Watches. If you’re not wearing a watch, you look unreliable and clueless. A stylish watch is a great conversation piece and an amazing accessory. Tech watches are not amazing or stylish but are more about function versus fashion. Tech watches also indicate you’re not super awesome with style. Super expensive watches say you’re a badass, get lots of p^ssy, and have lots of money. On the other hand, Rolex, Audemars Piguet, and Cartier say you’re a classy gentleman who prefers quality, craftsmanship, and timeless elegance. A Patek is more subdued, less flashy, and not as well-known but equally sexy. Brands like Seiko, Casio, and Hamilton are incredible and affordable options. Aura is a new watch band brand that is crushing it.
- Necklaces. Shell chokers, like puka shells, make you look like you just got back from the beach and are 12 years old. Necklaces with leather straps, big pendants, or crucifixes make you look a bit low-class. If you’re wearing something with a lot of bling, similar to the big diamond studs, it makes you look like a show-off. Something simple and subtle, such as a silver or gold chain, is one of the greatest necklaces for guys. Add some pendants; you look super high-class, elegant, and refined.
- Bracelets. A simple metal cuff looks amazing. Cartier makes some incredible but expensive lux bracelets for men, such as the one that looks like a wrapped nail. Big leather cups make you look like a redneck, a country music musician, or wear Ed Hardy jeans and a flannel shirt with sleeves ripped off. Beaded bracelets are a good segue. The bracelets you wear boil down to the overall aesthetic that you’re going for.
- Rings. If you wear a silicone wedding band, people think you’re into working out regularly. If you wear multiple rings on a single hand, you look like a mob boss, especially if it’s a pinky ring. Thumb rings should not be worn. Use extreme caution if you wear a ring on any other finger than your index finger.
- Hats. Baseball hats are okay if they’re not dirty. I’ve changed my mind about never wearing your hat backward. If you’re going to wear it backward, realize it will send a message that you’re useful and younger. Trucker hats are a bit more rugged. Cowboy hats are great for cowboys. Bigger hats that make you look like a hipster have nothing wrong with them, but you’re definitely cooler than me.
- Backpacks. In general, backpacks make you look a bit younger. Some are more sleek and stylish and come in leather and different fabrics. You can upgrade the quality and, therefore, the aesthetic of your backpack. A bag of higher quality sends a message that you have some extra money, and you’re not afraid to spend it.
- Glasses. Glasses can make you look instantly cool or dorky. Certain types will make you look like Uncle Barry. A simple or no frame will indicate you’re not really into style. Think of glasses as accessories you’re lucky enough to wear on your face. You need to find something with more structure and substance. Also, plenty of brands won’t break the bank — Glasses USA and Warby Parker are two of my favorites. Sports sunglasses have come back into style, similar to the mullet and mustache. They make you look like you’re playful and fun and that you don’t take yourself too seriously. Great sunglasses options are Ray-Ban, Wayfair, Aviator, or Clubmaster.
- Bags. A cross-body bag demonstrates here a bit more youthful, on-trend, and in style.
- Wallets. They can either send the message that you’re cool or a lazy slob. Ensure it’s not packed with receipts and cards, making you look unorganized. Look for something sleek and minimal to carry in your front pocket. The brand Coach has a bunch of incredible wallets with amazing options.
