What Your Facial Hair Style Says About You

June 7, 2024
Today, I’m going to talk about facial hairstyles and what they say about you—more specifically, what they say to other people.

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Let’s talk about facial hairstyles — which is you?

Standalone stash. In the old days, a standalone stash met you’re either a pornstar, creep, or pedo. The game has changed. The style is a little bit next-level, and it shows confidence and ruggedness for a young dude. For older dudes with Dad bods and wacky style, stashes won’t make you look cool.

Disconnected goatee. This says that you’re a little bit young or not able to grow a full beard. If you’re going to grow a goatee (chin hair, mustache, soul patch), you need to make sure you keep it trimmed and tight. You don’t want straggly hair.

Connected goatee. This style makes me think that you’re in your 40s and 50s or out of touch with style. The goatee is a dated style from the 90s and early 2000s. If you are going to have this style, make sure that it is edged up but not super thin in detail like a chin strap. You’ll look like a douche. Reciprocally, a big bushy goatee makes you look like a redneck or wild man with zero style. It just looks gross.

Patchy beard. Unfortunately, you’ll look young and youthful, but also looks like you can’t grow a beard. I recommend trimming it short and training your beard. You could also diet darker so that fine hairs look thicker. You can also exercise and eat a healthy diet, including vitamin D, zinc, biotin, B vitamins, and omegas, to increase testosterone and, in turn, increase follicle formation and density.

Edged-up beard. If you have a super thin beard, like a chin strap, you look like white trash.

The Lucas. This facial hairstyle does not have hair underneath the jaw. This is one of the biggest mistakes because it makes a man look like he has a double chin. You need to leave the hair, but you should also not have a neckbeard or hair growing up like a wolf. Neckbeards look sloppy.

Big beards. If you have a robust beard that’s not managed or maintained, you look sloppy. You’ll want it a little bit longer but trimmed and tapered down to the chin, edged up, conditioned, and will maintained. This will make you look rugged and studly. The style is sexy and super mature.

Stubble beard. This is perceived as the sexiest option. This looks a little bit more like a Playboy and less responsible, but it’s sexy.

Gray beards. This type of beard says that you’re mature and not uncomfortable getting older. Dying your beard super black when you’re obviously older is a bit awkward.

Jet black. Any beard that has been dyed super jet black looks as if you’re trying to hold on to your youth with a Kung Fu action grip. It doesn’t work because everybody notices. Go to a lighter shade. Also, women find guys with salt-and-pepper hair extra sexy.

Beard stash. This is basically a stubble beard with a longer mustache. It’s one of the best styles currently and shows your extra confidence and coolness. It’s the best of both worlds.

Sideburns. Men need sideburns unless they’re doing a type of skin fade. Sideburns finish a hairstyle, and you should not cut them off square or blunt. Let them drop down a bit to the middle of the ear and then angle them slightly. Follow the jawline, which will give your hair a bit of pizzazz and sexiness. But make sure your sideburns don’t come down too low because that’s gross.

Zero facial hair. If you shave off all your facial hair, you’re saying to others that you’re not allowed to grow facial hair, that a woman wears pants in the relationship, or that you can’t grow facial hair.

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