This newsletter is dedicated to Stephen Posta who passed away on July 29th. He lost his battle with cancer after 13 years. He was a warrior with an incessant positive attitude. He touched and affected so many people and leaves a powerful legacy that is impactful and inspiring. I lost my friend, business partner, and hair-styling soulmate. It’s all very raw still, and I’m struggling to deal with it.
Life is short and sometimes unfair. This is one of those times. People are taken from us far before we are actually ready for them to go. Most of the people in our lives, we are never ready to let go of. Life is short, and I encourage you to call somebody you haven’t talked to in a while.
This person may be a parent, a brother, a friend, or even a grandparent if you’re lucky enough to still have them. But call somebody that you haven’t talked to in a while. Call and simply tell them that you care about them. Tell them that you love them and that you just called to say ‘hello.’ You never know when it’s going to be the end, and you’re not going to have that day.
When people leave this world, don’t have regrets. Take time to slow down and express your emotions. Having and expressing emotions doesn’t mean you’re any less of a man. I’m a firm believer that expressing yourself is healthy and even critical. So if you want to tell someone that they mean something to you, it’s okay. You don’t have to hide things or suppress emotions. Emotions make us human, and you can’t run from them.
Telling those in your life who are important to you that you love them can be extremely powerful. On the flip-side, telling those in your life who make you feel loved that they make you feel that way is also extremely powerful. An unexpected message like this is appreciated and so simple to relay. During a challenging time in my life, a friend who was unaware of the situation reached out to let me know that I make them feel special and loved. These words still resonate with me, remind me that I have value in others’ lives, and help me stay positive.
Speaking of living and life, the average life is relatively short. But don’t live in fear of death but rather be bold and courageous with how you live your life. You will only live the life that you create for yourself, so be productive AND be patient. Patience doesn’t mean you’re waiting; instead, it means that you can maintain a positive outlook and attitude while you’re busy growing and building your life. But, don’t be fooled — busyness doesn’t mean being productive.
Busyness isn’t a virtue nor an attribute to envy or strive for. Sure we all have our times where life is crazy hectic, but living like this is not sustainable or fulfilling (think burnout). It’s okay to prioritize and say ‘no.’ Make time for things that should be a priority, like reaching out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while — create new moments in time and impressions both your life and someone else’s.
The passage of time can be gauged by how many new memories we create as we go. If you are in a rut and do the same things all the time, your brain sees no point to capturing the same stuff repeatedly and creates fewer memories. If you switch up your routine and expose yourself to new ideas and learn things, you create more memories and your perception of the passage of time seems to slow down.
Think about it — when you’re a child, driving one-hour to a new city created quite an impression and new memories. But if you fast forward 10 years, when you see one city you see them all. You work day in day out, doing basically the same grind every single day. You don’t get as much new stimulus as you did as a child, so every day feels like a blur because most days are literally the same. That’s why when people start a new job, a couple months may feel like a year with all of new sensory input daily. Time goes quicker the older you get because experiences become more mundane.
Remember, when moving forward in life, thinking and doing it are two different things. Positive growth will not come looking for you while you’re waiting; you have to actively go out and search for it. YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO— you aren’t what you say. Knowledge is useless without action, and if you wait until you’re 100% ready before you move forward on anything, you’re never going to move forward. CARPE DIEM! Seize the day like Stephen Posta, gentlemen.
But saying ‘no’ because you are scared to fail or put yourself out there is something completely different. Often, a degree of failure will be experienced before any type of success, but you will never grow in life if you’re so worried about the what-ifs. As I’ve always said, regret is so much worse than failure. So to successfully build your life, you may need to have to fail. And if you do, learn from those mistakes and forgive yourself.
Speaking of moving forward, you don’t need to wait for an apology to forgive. Life gets easier when you learn to accept the apologies that you never received. And realize that some people aren’t right for you, so get the negativity and the negative people out of your life. Reach out and foster relationships with those who are inspirational and uplifting.
Change is inevitable, so embrace it. Which brings this discussion full-circle; sometimes change means that we lose touch with those who mean a lot to us. So reach out to those people because you never know where life may lead you. Reach out and let them know that you’re thinking of them and that you love them. Don’t wait until tomorrow.
I want everyone that I care about in my life to always know that they have made a difference to me, that they matter, and that I love them. I do this simply because we never know what will happen tomorrow. We have no idea when it will be the last time we see someone. This is why I will always tell people that I love them — including all of you.
Life is crazy fragile and precious. You never know when it’s going; you never know when it’s gone. If there’s someone who means something to you haven’t spoken to in a while, take this opportunity to call and let them know how you feel. You never know when you’re not going to have the chance again. Tell people you love that you care about them while they can still hear you.