Do you ever feel you need to be somewhere else in life, success, career, or relationships? Do you ever feel like you’re not really sure where to go or what to do – And you feel like everyone else has? I want to share with you my story, along with some tips and strategies to help you redefine what success looks like. And then I also want to discuss how to get it.
Personal Benchmarks
For context, I’d like to share personal benchmarks using my chronological age because I think that’s where many people get in trouble. They start thinking they’re supposed to accomplish certain things at a certain age, and then they feel they’re a failure if they don’t.
- When I was 30 years old, I was driving a beer cart. My business had failed; I was $500,000 in debt and filing for bankruptcy. I didn’t know which and was up, and I was financially ruined. But the worst thing was not knowing what success looked like anymore. From the age of 12, I knew what I wanted to do. It was one-dimensional, and I focused on that North Star. But when it exploded, and I didn’t have that anymore, I was lost and confused. I have been broke my entire life and didn’t know where to go or what to do. I tried a bunch of different approaches. One thing that I loved to do was help guys dress better, as I had been into style since a young age. When I decided to take a friend shopping, I thought that there was a business in what I was doing.
- In 2008 I made my first YouTube video as an image consultant. I was 32 years old.
- Four years later, for the first time at 36 years old, I made my first $100K.
- Then four years later, at 40 years old, I made a million dollars.
Takeaways + Tips
The first takeaway is that age does not matter. You can find your purpose, passion, and path as long as you’re alive and have an opportunity.
The next step is identifying what success looks like to you. Many of us get confused when we think success is supposed to look a certain way. Perhaps your version of success is being able to travel seven days a week; or perhaps your version of success is living in a tent; or maybe your version of success is a Lambo or a Maserati. It doesn’t matter, it’s your choice, but you have to decide.
The other reality is that your definition of success can, will, and should change. Fifteen years ago, my version of success was different. I did not visualize myself posting videos on YouTube. Success was owning a lot of fitness centers.
Success does not always look like what you think or what you hope or expect it will. You have to be open, which I had to be when my version of success collapsed. I needed to be open to exploring other avenues. One of the best courses I’ve ever taken was by Emma Gannon, “Discovery and Success: 7 Exercises to Uncover Your Purpose, Passion, and Path.” You can check it out over at Skillshare. I’ve also been diving into all of Cat Cocolette’s courses, in which she teaches step-by-step how to build a brand, post, and monetize. Check them out with Skillshare’s free for 30 days.
My next tip is to focus on progress instead of perfection. I used to think that if I made mistakes and things weren’t going exactly how I felt they should be, I wouldn’t be successful. The truth is that as long as you progress in your journey, you are successful. There is no one-size-fits-all solution to success or the journey to get there. Through the process, you’re going to make mistakes and stumble. You’ll fail, but this is good as long as you learn and progress.
During your journey to success, stop self-sabotaging by using drugs or alcohol. Take a challenge and stop drinking for 30 days and see what happens. You’ll be more productive and achieve more. Also, stop hanging out with those who are doing self-destructive things. Surround yourself with people with your best intentions and move in a similar direction. Your network is your net worth. Your tribe will be there to help guide and assist you. Lose the scarcity mindset and start looking at everything as an opportunity where you can grow together.
If you’re somebody that it grew up poor and starting from behind, congratulations. That’s an advantage from a mentality standpoint. You may not have the same resources, but that’s okay. If you can stay hungry and focused, you will figure it out. Work hard and keep your eyes open while constantly exploring. You’ll appreciate success more than somebody who had things handed to them. Stay optimistic, humble, and hungry.
