Do bad boys always win over the good guys? And are bad boys ONLY those who are considered lowlifes, junkies, f^ckboys, and the generally irresponsible? A lot of us don’t understand how women or even society as a whole chooses these guys over responsible, stable, and respectful men who have stable lifestyles, jobs, and incomes.
A bad boy can be that overly confident, popular, potentially womanizer that women seem to want to date in their teens and 20s. But a bad boy can also be defined as a guy who is a bit rebellious, breaks rules, and has more of a thug image. Bad boys can be good-looking but can also be average or below-average. The key is the use of fearlessness, boldness, and confidence.
Why do people gravitate to bad boys? And specifically, why would women willingly subject themselves to a bad boy over a standard type of relationship? You see it all the time—women from good households and amazing families chasing the local bad boy. But there’s much more to it. Let me explain so you, too, can embrace the fearless spirit of a bad boy and conquer life’s challenges.
This chase could be a result of an instinctual survival mechanism. In the past, humans didn’t live long, barely reaching their 40s. So, women were in their childbearing years, in their teens, and through their twenties. Their best bet for getting the job done was the aggressive types who could protect them and increase their chances of survival through inherited aggressive predispositions. In other words, the child would inherit the father’s strong traits.
Another reason women may gravitate to the bad guys: ‘birds of a feather.’ The girl who goes after a guy who has an addiction just getting out of jail and/or rehab is probably at his level as well – having similar struggles. Conversely, a guy in high-level sales jobs will end up with girls in high-level marketing jobs.
Now, consider this: Are some men thinking other men are bad boys because they got the woman? Sure, some of these guys are actually bad boys (aka legit sh!tty), but are the others all really bad boys? Just because they are fearless, bold, or confident doesn’t make them actually bad boys. So, some bad boys are mischaracterized.
Let’s go back to women gravitating toward these bad boys. I spoke about survival mechanisms earlier. So, let’s take that a step further and talk about women choosing fearless men. Fearless men are found in all socioeconomic statuses, educations, and other factors.
Fearless men with an upper-class upbringing and good education often become successful and fierce entrepreneurs. In contrast, fearless men who grow up in poverty may hang in the wrong circles but can be leaders in their own pack. Women desire both versions, although they are very different. However, both have a lack of fear in common. Fearlessness can be good or bad, but many women are drawn to fearless men, and these fearless men are often bad boys (the only type of fearless men available to women in particular circles).
In other words, in some circles, fearless men may have a less favorable socioeconomic status, lower education, tactless manners, etc. Bad boys aren’t necessarily desirable to women overall, but women often pair with partners of a similar lifestyle. Then, take it a step further that women desire fearless men, so whatever situation surrounds a man’s life (rich/poor, educated/uneducated), he’ll be desirable to women if he personifies fearlessness in that social setting.
Replace the word fearless with bold or confident; you’ve got the same analysis. Being bold and confident also increases a man’s success ratio. If a man is not getting out and taking chances because of fear of rejection, he is probably not meeting women. Women meet fearless men (bad boys, so to speak) because these men go up and talk to them. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Now, let’s touch on what these bad boys look like. Most people would have the image of a guy wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle who engages in risky behavior and gets into fights. Why would a seemingly innocent, high-quality woman want to date him? Well, this stereotypical image isn’t the complete picture. Bad guys come in all different packages, such as alternative guys who are sensitive and emotional but ghost women after they get what they want. Many good-natured women fall for this bad boy.
Okay, so you are friendly, kind, and respectable. You do what’s expected and don’t rock the boat. You are dependable and follow the rules. You CAN get the same results in life as bad boys. Here’s how to be fearless, bold, and confident to get what you want, even if you’re not technically a bad boy.
Don’t give a sh!t about what others think of you — bad boys don’t let negativity get to them, and they do what they want regardless of what others think. And don’t overshare; they leave things to the imagination.
Take action and don’t spend time talking — make sh!t happen. Don’t fear failure because you’ll be one step closer to figuring it out. Take control of situations — including other people and yourself. Don’t ask for permission (ask for forgiveness instead) — go for it. Make sure you take ownership of and responsibility for your actions. And if you get in trouble, apologize and own your mistakes.
And don’t be shy or embarrassed to dress with intention and purpose. Nice guys worry about what others think; bad boys ensure their package is tight. Take control of your body, and don’t rely on others to feel good about yourself. Be secure with yourself, grow your confidence, and believe in yourself.
Last but not least, live life on your own terms—don’t worry about external forces. Nothing is more powerful and intoxicating than living the life you want.
