When I think about the man that I was in my early twenties, I wish I could go back and talk to him.
I wish I could discuss things that are actually important rather than things I thought were important, such as people you think love you are actually holding you back, plans that aren’t going to work out, and how hard life will be to figure things out. So today, I want to go over some brutally harsh truths I wish I’d known at age 20.
I wish I could have told my younger self:
Nothing changes if nothing changes. A lot of guys spend years wanting a better body, career, money, relationship, and so forth, but do nothing. They do the same thing day in and day out, thinking things will magically change. But they won’t unless they change their habits and outlook. If you want change, implement change.
Hard is better than easy. When we’re younger, we often look for the easiest way to get something done. We want it quickly, but the hard way is often the best, because if something is too easy, we don’t value it. Adversity ultimately gives you the most satisfaction and fulfillment.
Most people don’t care about you. People are distracted by their own issues. Even so, we spend so much time worrying about what they think of us when they’re not thinking of us at all. The world does not revolve around you, and people aren’t concerned. Thinking about it this way will free and liberate you. Fear of what others think holds us down from going after what we want. Don’t let this hold you back.
Confidence comes from evidence, not talk. I used to think confidence was a magical feeling, but it’s actually built by proving to yourself that you can do things or overcome challenges. Confidence is a skill you build over time.
Who you surround yourself with shapes your life. I used to think all my friends were permanent ride-or-dies. But decades later, I realize none of them are still around, and it’s okay. It’s good to outgrow people. If your circle is not shrinking, you are not surrounding yourself with better and higher-quality people.
You can’t outrun your past. We need to face our past by doing the hard work. If not, your relationships will suffer, and you won’t feel great about yourself. Therapy is what I used to work through my past — and I use it to this day. Visit BetterHelp for 10% off your first month of therapy and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help you.
Health is wealth. Health is not just your body. It’s also mental, emotional, and spiritual, and as you get older, it gets more challenging. If you’re not healthy, nothing else matters and no amount of money can save you. Protect your health like your life depends on it. Nobody’s coming to save you.
Just because you’re a good person doesn’t mean good things will happen to you. Nobody’s going to hand you anything just for being a solid dude or for being likable. You have to earn what you have by going out and getting it. Nobody’s going to rescue you.
Perfect timing doesn’t exist. Now is the time, and you will mess things up. Don’t be scared of failing or of being embarrassed. If it doesn’t work out the way that you want, it’s liberating and freeing.
Each decade sets the tone for the next decade. Whether it’s your habits or your diet, what you’re doing now in your 20s will perpetuate into your 30s and 40s. Get it under control now.
Legacy is about impact. Legacy is not about how many kids you have or monster achievements. It’s about how you make others feel and how you impact them daily. Legacy is about what you leave behind for the world and others. Did you change lives for the better and make the world a better place? That’s what true legacy is about.
